Heterosexual couples get plenty of social support for treating their partners with respect when it comes to sex. In other words, they feel shame for experiencing hurt by the actions of their long-term partners. They think that the gay community believes in sexual freedom and it isn’t cool or manly to object to their partner’s sexual behavior. They’ll ask me why they feel so jealous and how can I help them let go of their jealousy. Some gay men don’t feel they have a right to be upset about these behaviors. Their long-term partners will aggressively flirt with other men in front of them, go home with a guy from the bar without any forewarning, sleep with ex-lovers without gaining consent from their current lover, or brag to their current boyfriends about the quality of their sex with strangers. Some gay men put up with a lot in their relationships.
